My friend called me to tell me there was a TV programme on about attachment parenting tonight. I was looking forward to seeing it as we have a distinct lack of information for parents, particularly new parents about the benefits of babywearing, co-sleeping etc. My own decisions to do these things were based on instinct but I worried that I was breaking all the rules by making some of the choices that I did.
So if you missed it… here were the highlights:
Women who adopt attachment parenting ethos don’t need toys and especially not ‘Neglectomatics’ (baby bouncer chairs)
Attachment parents don’t need nappies
The ultimate chick flick night in? Your best girls round with popcorn, snacks and homebirth videos
Attachment parents don’t believe in doctors
I’m wondering if the latter is akin to not believing in Santa Claus but maybe I’m just being silly…
These little treasures were all snippets from the first five minutes of the programme and when I posted some of them on my facebook wall I was inundated with response.
The mother who was breastfeeding her 5 year old was particularly interesting in her condescending attitude towards women who either choose not to breastfeed or in her words “claim not to be able to”.
The list of choices that attachment parents were said to adhere to was endless, but what really irked me was the fact that the attachment parenting style was portrayed in such a sensationalistic manner. Choices like breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping were dramatised to appear anti-social and outrageous.
What a shame that the positive steps that have been taken in recent years to normalise what for many, are parenting choices based on instinct can still be contradicted so horrendously. Why should any parent be made to feel guilty about choices they make? One of the biggest battles so many new mums face is the sheer amount of decisions they are faced with on an ongoing basis as soon as the new bundle of joy arrives into their lives. This can be as traumatic as it is euphoric and programmes such as this evenings tripe have scope to do so much harm and for what? I can’t imagine any viewer, regardless of their family status found this enjoyable viewing.
My own parenting style has been to a fair degree, child led. We co-slept – but out of convenience and necessity (for sleep mainly!) as opposed to keeping in line with rules of a certain style of parenting. I breastfed my baby, carried her in a sling and chose the baby led weaning route. Many people have made the comment “Ooh, aren’t you good?”. I always find this a strange thing to hear. It’s not about being ‘good’, it’s about finding what works for you and your baby. For us, child led meant that we got plenty of sleep and had to take minimal paraphernalia out with us when we left the house. As a result of the choices we made, we have a very chilled out, fun-loving, secure and confident 18-month old on our hands. We’re not social outcasts or extremists by any stretch of the imagination (are we?!) and yet many people may coin the term attachment parenting when describing us. To think we would be being banded in the same camp as this lot leaves my blood boiling.
I completely agree with you! I went the opposite way to yourself with a chilled sleep routine, Sam in his own bed, bottle feeding (because of the medication i have to take) and pureed food for weaning – thats what worked for us and, just like you, we have a chiiled out 1yr old who we can take anywhere and do anything with! I hate being criticised for my choices………especially when the person criticising has a child who runs riot and is totally out of control. Parental decisions shouldnt be judged by what is socially acceptable but more whether the child is happy, healthy and above all……..loved!
Ps……love the blog xxx (and go for the ipad – its fab )
Laura Summers
wrote on January 4, 2011 at 11:04 // Reply
Hi Sara and thanks for the comment!
I entirely agree with you in that you do what works and you do it with the best intentions and sod the frickin’ guilt! Mothers guilt knows no bounds and programmes like the one mentioned serve no purpose other than to sensationalise parenting choices. At the end of the day we all make the best choices we can based on our circumstances and that is what good parenting is
I completely agree with you! I went the opposite way to yourself with a chilled sleep routine, Sam in his own bed, bottle feeding (because of the medication i have to take) and pureed food for weaning – thats what worked for us and, just like you, we have a chiiled out 1yr old who we can take anywhere and do anything with! I hate being criticised for my choices………especially when the person criticising has a child who runs riot and is totally out of control. Parental decisions shouldnt be judged by what is socially acceptable but more whether the child is happy, healthy and above all……..loved!
Ps……love the blog xxx (and go for the ipad – its fab
)
Hi Sara and thanks for the comment!
I entirely agree with you in that you do what works and you do it with the best intentions and sod the frickin’ guilt! Mothers guilt knows no bounds and programmes like the one mentioned serve no purpose other than to sensationalise parenting choices. At the end of the day we all make the best choices we can based on our circumstances and that is what good parenting is
I will be dreaming of iPads tonight!